A re-cap of the events leading up to, including, and following after the Cau Chin experience.
Friend C: Hey Neal, you wanna go see that Cau Chin guy?
Me: Yeah! Let's go tomorrow. Say we leave around 6 or 7-ish, be in Houston by 10 am? I mean it's Wednesday, how busy can it be?
C: Well, most of the reviews say to get there around 4...
So we leave Austin at freaking 1:30 in the morning, we're in Houston by 4. Sure enough, there are people in line already. By 7, when Cau Chin arrives, the line is 30 people strong. By the time I'm seen- around 7:30- the line has grown to 40. Cau Chin only sees 60 people a day. Better ruck tomorrow for all those late comers, which thankfully wasn't us (good call by C).
There were roaches crawling all over the place. I was going to stomp a mudhole on those mofos but C reminded me: "Buddhists believe in reincarnation. Cau Chin would not appreciate you stepping on that bug."
Ugh. Roaches, man. They creep me out.
So anyway, come 7:30, my number to see Cau Chin is called. Here are some of the things he said and predicted, with commentary from me.
The first thing he said to me was, "I recognize your spirit. You've been here (I guess he means on Earth) before."
Snarf.
Then he starts weeping about "my spirit." He said some more about my spirit, but I didn't catch it because Cau Chin talks FAST and he's a mumbler.
"What's that little kid? I didn't hear you?"
"I said-"
"MUMBLER!"
(Charlie & the Chocolate Factory)
Anywho...
"God wants you to know He always hears you, even when you're down. He hears you when you're down. God says you don't pray enough, especially when you're down, but when you're happy, you pray always and that makes Him happy. But you need to pray more."
I actually like this part and it's true. Any talk of God in a positive light is a plus in my book. God's book, too, but my book especially.
"You should drink more water and watch what you eat. You have something in your belly. When you drink more water and watch what you eat, then your health will be better."
You don't say!
And for the record, I'm not fat. I'm big-boned. Ass-hats.
"God says you're very smart, but also very lazy."
This is actually true.
"You like to stay up late and don't wake up in the morning. You're very lazy."
Yeah, well no shit. I'm in college- exams don't study for themselves. And of course I'm up all night; I drove all the way from Austin just to get in on time to see you!
"You have a quick temper, quick to anger, you are. You love your family, but you're quick to anger with them. You need to let go of your anger. Pray for your family."
Okay, I made up the "quick to anger, you are" line. Yoda fucking PWNZ. The rest is true, though.
"Where's your mama? Where's your papa?" (K-town) "Tell your papa everything is going to be okay. You look just like your mother."
Yeah, it's genetics, bro. You had a 50/50 chance of saying who I looked like and you nailed it!
"Where are your sisters?" (Dallas and K-town.) "One looks just like your mother, one looks just like your father."
WOW!!!!!
Actually, I'm being a bit harsh. My sister D is actually the spitting image of my mother and M looks like my dad with a wig, except she doesn't look like a man. But she is pretty dark like my dad.
"Where's your brother?"
I don't have a brother. As an aside, C said, "Maybe your mom had a miscarriage or something." So I called my mom and asked her if she had any other babies besides my sisters and me... And she began berating me on why psychics are frauds. Thanks, mom.
"Where's your partner?"
I'm single, thanks.
"You had a lover in the past, what happened?"
??? I've been single for all of my adult life.
"God doesn't like your short hair. You should stop shaving it."
Who am I, fucking Sampson? I'm not out to kill Philistines, so I'll do whatever the hell I want, thankyouverymuch.
"When were you born?" (1984) "...(starts going through several decks of cards and counting out the years and events of my past, present and future) You're going to live to be 84 years old."
lolwut?
"In 2011, you're going to meet your wife in a nightclub..."
What?! You mean guys pick up girls when they're out bar-hopping?!
"...in Austin."
Not happening. My lease is up in mid-June and I'm leaving this city for good with no intentions of visiting anytime soon after.
"You two will meet in 2011, engaged 2012, married 2013. Married long time with 2 kids."
You forgot about the .2 kid, bro.
For the record and for reasons I can't explain, this is absolutely false.
(What about my career and my profession? Am I going to do medicine?)
"You're going to do medicine." (Where will I go to medical school?) "Somewhere here in Texas."
This was my bad. I baited him into this. But I do take issue with this because I'm supposed to meet my wife in 2011 in Austin, but I fully expect to be in med school by then. There isn't a med school in Austin. You lose, Cau Chin.
Lastly, "Believe in yourself. Above all, God wants you to believe in yourself."
Cau Chin also went on some other tangents which I'm too tired to jot down right now. Basically, the guy started off well and then the whole conversation just spiraled down to general vagaries and the absurd. Sad, because Cau Chin comes off as a genuinely nice guy and I fully believe he intends to help. Oh, well.
C summed it up best: "Not to be rude, but we were definitely the most educated people in the waiting room. (And yet we still chose to leave Austin at 1:30 am to see this psychic in Houston. lol) I think because we are so much more educated and especially as science majors, we've been taught how to analyze information and better guard ourselves against stuff like that. People choose what they want to believe."
"He said a lot of the same things to me, too. I think it helps that we went and saw Cau Chin as a pair and we were able to compare our predictions."
Final verdict: "Myth busted."
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